About Me

Hi, my name is Thomas Pate, host of the Relationship Fitness Podcast.

I am a retired U.S. Navy submarine veteran and very proud to have served my country. I am on a journey to find out ways to improve my love relationship skills and passionate about sharing what I’ve learned with other people.

Why? You see it all started back in the spring of 2002, one of the worst days of my life to date. I did something I swore I would never do if I ever got married and had kids. You can probably guess what that promise to myself was.

Yep, I swore I’d never get divorced from the mother of my children. And yet on a warm spring day in Surprise Arizona just outside of Phoenix, there the boys’ mom and I were in the front room sitting on the couch with the boys standing in front of us at the ages of 7 and 5 trying to explain to them that mommy and daddy were getting a divorce. Ugh!!!

So there I was at the age of 34, feeling like I was at the end of a fourth marriage. Now you might be saying, “Wow that is a lot! What they heck could you teach me about how to improve my relationship when you’ve failed so many times by the time you were 34???”  You’re right it is a lot? But here is the thing, the first two weren’t mine.

As you can guess the first was between my parents when I was around nine. The next was with my dad’s second wife when I was around twelve.

Naturally, I was too young to understand relationships dynamics, but the perceptions I took from the drama that occurred during those times still affected me later in my own romantic relationships.

After the failure of my second marriage, I realized that I had very little clue about how to keep a relationship strong. I didn’t have the skills! So I began to research and learn and talk to people about self-improvement and relationships to figure it all out.

Since 2002, I’ve talked with hundreds of people, observed hundreds of relationships and researched dozens of books and web articles all in an effort to have a greater understanding of how to create a great relationship and keep it great.

As parents we tend to forget that we are not just raising kids but somebody’s future spouse. How we act in our relationships teaches them how to act in relationships when they get older.

This is why I built the Relationship Fitness Podcast Show.

I believe that if we learn better relationship skills and habits, we can set better examples for the kids and leave a better relationship legacy for future generations. Then we can help them have better chances to get into better relationships from the start and understand how to keep them strong and healthy.

If we can do that then we can stop the perpetuation of relationship dysfunction from generation to generation and yes, save the world, one relationship at a time, starting with yours. So what do you say? Are you in?



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